Please pass this on...

This is from ~krazykat91's journal. I copied her story for the inspiration to others who are in pain.

This journal entry is for all the teens, adults, addicts, suicidal, and simply depressed people out there. I know what some of you are going through. Granted, I don't know what you all are feeling on a daily basis. But, lemme tell you my story, so maybe you can feel some of my feelings.I am not looking for sympathy or empathy, just for peace and I think I may have found a way to find. I hope that my story will help all of you out there, find yours.

I have suffered from depression and anxiety for nearly two years now. I lost a loved one in Oct of 2008. He was deeply rooted in my heart. He had been through everything with me. He was there when I was bullied on a daily basis. He was there when my parents had their biggest fight I had ever seen. He was there when I moved from England to the states. He was there my first few years of torment. He was there when I told the first boy I had ever had a crush on. He was there when that same boy told me I was a freak and should leave the school forever. He was there when that same boy told all of his friends and made fun of me for nearly a year straight. He was there the entire time... then I lost him to throat cancer. I lost my best friend abruptly and have had the worst time trying to recover. I spiraled down into a deep depression. In January of 2009 I began hearing voices. These voices told me to kill myself. That I was unloved, unwanted, a waste of space. I believed them and cried myself to sleep just about every night for several months. I began cutting myself on my arms and legs. I became addicted to it. I began to need to cut on a daily basis; sometimes several times a day. I began cutting in school, at home, anywhere I felt threatened. I brought three knives into school. My friends took them away from me. I tried to commit suicide twice. I was hospitalized once. I told them I felt better just so I could go home. There isn't a day that goes by, I want to kill myself. I was put in therapy and during therapy, some repressed memories came back. I revealed that I was molested at the age of 8 and then 10 by the same boy who beat me on a regular basis in England. I surprised all my family when I told them. My mother was near hysterics when she found out. I felt bad for telling. I felt better for quite a long time. I was dating a 19 year old during most of my senior year and I thought I was in love with him. I was even engaged, even though I was only 17. After 7 months, I realized that he was a controlling and abusive boyfriend. I dumped him and discovered in horror that I was still in love with my friend who took all my knives away. I think I am still in love with him, although he already loves his best friend. I have spent nearly a month falling back into depression because I felt inadequate. I have broken many promises over my years, and every single broken promise leads to more pain.

My message to you is this:

-Don't break your promises. Keep your word and if you can't keep it, don't promise it.
-Don't lie to yourself.
-Don't hold in all your feelings. Be them good or bad, let them out. Bottling everything will eventually kill you.
-If you are suicidal, please, seek help immediately. You are worth more than you feel. You may feel that no one loves you, but you are wrong. Someone in this world loves you. Even if you may think it's god, a friend, or family. A pet perhaps; the point is, you ARE LOVED. So please, don't give up.
-Girls: You are all beautiful. No matter your size, hair color, face, body, or personality. You are ALL beautiful in your own way. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You have to love yourself if you ever want love in return. Don't change your body because someone (Other than your doctor) says you need to lose weight or change your hair style. You are beautiful because you are YOU. No one can ever take that away from you.
-Guys: Don't let your feelings kill you. Tell your girlfriends, mothers, sisters, cousins, friends, that they are beautiful. Don't follow anyone's "rules" but your own. (Follow the laws of course)
-Don't GIVE UP OR IN!!!! You are worth all the effort in the world. You can be whomever you want to be. There is no one stopping you, but yourself. Reach for the sky, smile, and don't give in. Don't give up on life. Give on the things that are hurting you.

I hope that this journal will change at least someone's mind. Remember; I've been through this too. I know how hard it is to change and let go. The trigger that is making me change... is the pain I put my friends through every time they see me "fall". I will fall. We all will. Whether or not we stay on the ground and feel sorry for ourselves is what makes us who we are. We are all human. We're all going to feel pain. You need to be able to forgive yourself and forgive others to truly heal. I hope this helps at least one person. So maybe that person can help another and start a chain reaction to save people's lives. I am willing to help and listen to anyone. When you are ready to forgive, you are ready to heal. You are loved and your life is worth living, no matter how tough it gets... no one said it would be easy... but it's certainly not impossible.

Hang in there.